As I get older and discover more about myself, I’ve learned that I love to be spontaneous.
I love to have moments where I randomly decide to meet up with a friend, or attend an event, or cook a meal. Light a candle, take a bath, or book a massage in the middle of the day.
I find that some of my favorite posts for this blog are ones that were written on the fly from an idea born out of a quiet moment. What gets in the way of that spontaneity is the other demands in my life. Career demands, social commitments, and other responsibilities often book up all of my free time so there’s no room for spontaneity left.
One of my goals this year is to build in more of this completely free time that I can use to write, relax, meditate, and spend time tapping into my deepest thoughts. As an introvert who has been trying to operate as an extrovert for the past 26 years, carving out specific “me” time has been a revelation in helping me process my inner thoughts and recharge after spending time with people.
I am just barely on the introverted side (I fall just over in MBTI scoring after multiple testings) so my introversion is constantly at war with my less dominant, but still prominent extroverted side. I love spending time with people, so I often end up being with people all the time with no time to myself, and I get mentally exhausted and often irritable with whomever I’m with.
I’ve come to the realization that I’m just not happy being a hamster on a wheel and barreling through a never-ending list of to-dos and appointments. I need dedicated “me” time to think, and relax, and enjoy being alone with my thoughts. I’m really good about scheduling quality time with people when I feel the need to socialize, but on the opposite end I am not as good about scheduling dedicated alone time for myself when I really need it (often because I feel like I can’t back out of the many commitments I’ve already agreed to). I started instituting a rule whereby I only go out on weekdays one night per week, and while I’ve been pretty lax about enforcing it, it has helped in clearing out some free nights for me to invite the spontaneity my personality naturally craves.
What do you need to recharge? What are the things you need in order to function at your best level? I’m still figuring it out for myself, and so far the journey has been incredibly rewarding. Self discovery is so important. I’d love to hear how you’re figuring yourself out too.